Teaching Tuesday / Grieving Kids

Oh my goodness! That was hard! Googling pics of sad children and then picking out these sad little faces to remind us that kids hurt, too. It hurt my heart! As adults, we might not realize the fact our children can grieve, but they can. Not in the same way as adults, but the pain, anger, depression, and loneliness can all be there. We just need eyes to see and ears to hear, before their pain becomes more than they can handle.

Like with this Covid 19 pandemic, depending on how much TV/internet they have been exposed to, and/or how much they have overheard grownups talking, it is extremely likely that your children are dealing with some fear issues in regards to this virus. Everything in most of their worlds (homeschoolers less so than public school children) has been turned upside down - that goes for most of us adults as well. We have none ever walked this way before, so it is vitally important that we seek God on how to navigate this season.

A lot of children have lost the stability of their normal lives. They have lost their friends

to a large extent. Their normal routines are anything but routine or normal as they were accustomed to. They lost their teachers. Many have lost the safety net of being at school 5 days a week. Their sports and church activities are nonexistent. My 3 youngest we just lamenting yesterday about the uncertainty of not having Vacation Bible School this summer.

I'm not sharing all this to make you feel worse than you already feel. I just wanted to bring to your attention that all that whining, angry outbursts, pouting, sullenness, moodiness, crying, and temper tantrums might have a hidden root --- your child could be grieving! Just like in adults, grief in children can manifest in various forms. But bottom line with all the loss, fear, and confusion that is associated with grief, it all boils down to PAIN. Your child is hurting! They just don't have the words to express it so they usually act it out.

If they were to cut their finger, or stump their toe, you would quickly rush to care for the need. Dealing with emotional pain is no different! As parents, we must rush to care for the emotional pain as well. Almost all bad an negative behavior has an emotional root. If your child is acting out, misbehaving, demanding attention, or just being quieter than usual, you need to put on your parent detective hat and start asking questions. Most children love to talk. If they know that they have our attention and that we are their safe place to share their hearts without shame or condemnation, they will open up to us and share what's on their minds. It may take some time, but it will be time well spent. So, put your phones down (and put them on silent), turn off the TV, and spend some time just sharing and talking. You can incorporate something fun like art, Legos, or puzzles just to get things started depending on the age of your child. In settings like that, where they feel loved and valued, children will open up and share what's on their hearts. If you show them that what they have to say is important to you, you will have gained a friend for life!

Once you have gained their trust in valuing the secrets of their soul, they will share their hurts, fears, pain, and yes, their grief with you. You might can't ever make all those feelings and situations go away, but there is something so powerful about not feeling alone in the midst of the pain and grief. Then teach them to take those feelings to our Daddy God who can make it all better because He's just that BIG! Pray for them out loud in their presence, and then pray with them. It's a lesson that will empower your children all the days of their lives! They will feel better, and so will you! It's worth the time; I promise!

Happy Parenting Y'all!

#GrievingKids #TimeWinsTheirHearts #MisbehaviorIsRootedInPain