Faithful Friday / Because He Lives

May 22, 1973, I met Him for the first time . . . truly met Him! Oh, I had heard about Him. I had read the Bible stories. I had even joined the church and was baptized (just because a whole bunch of my friends did), but this time was different! It was my 15th birthday, and I had went to revival that night. I remember gripping the back of the pew. I remember thinking, "What will everyone think?" I remember taking two steps and being enveloped in the most euphoric Heavenly Bless. I felt joy, peace and freedom! I felt like a 500 pound weight was lifted off my shoulders, and I had not even been consciously aware that I had felt encumbered or weighted down. This new feeling of weightlessness was amazing, and It was as if I floated down the aisle. The next thing I remember was the visiting preacher kneeling beside me saying, "Did you know that Jesus can save you?" I looked at him with tears in my eyes and a grin on my face from ear to ear, and cheerfully replied, "He just DID!"

So, I started on my journey with Jesus. The weight of my sin and guilt were gone, but I was still very much in bondage to rage, fear of rejection, pride, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and so forth just to name a few of the afflictions that haunted me daily. I loved Jesus, but was so steeped in religion and performance that I couldn't maintain my joyful walk with the Lord. I had simply exchanged my ball and chain of condemnation, guilt, and shame, for another bondage . . . and the saddest part was I was know more aware of it than I had been of the first burden that Jesus had removed as I floated down that aisle.

I was super faithful to attend church, religiously so. On the outside, where the world could see, I was "Little Miss Goody Two Shoes!" I started teaching Sunday school and Vacation Bible School when I was 16. By the time I was 25, I was teaching Sunday school for the young children, Children's Church on Sunday nights, and Baptist Young Women on Wednesday nights. We had our first 3 girls, and the world saw a hard working, capable young woman, devoted to her family, and serving, serving, serving God. Then we started fostering and adopting and to most that too looked real good on my resume' of what a Christian should look like. What they didn't see was the rage-aholic that I was behind closed doors. They didn't see how I hated myself after I'd pitch a fit so unlike my precious Jesus. They didn't see the tears I cried begging Jesus to make me like Him. They didn't see, but Jesus did! He caught every tear in His bottle, and He kept loving me when I didn't even like myself, much less love myself. He is so amazing!

Easter 1988

Here I was in my late twenties (29 I think) with our 5 girls. Peggy and Christy swapped out and took the pictures for us. We were all ready for Easter with our homemade Easter dresses, and I had no way of knowing that my life was about to change forever - for the better!

During this season, I read a scripture that Father God used to set me on a journey. You may be familiar with it, John 10:10? The part that stood out to me was the last half of that verse:

Jesus is talking and He says, "I have come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly."

It literally stopped me in my tracks. At this point in my walk with Jesus, I knew Him well enough to know that He could not lie and I told Him so! I also knew that what I was living wasn't the abundant life He was referring to. So, I told Him,

"Jesus, I know that You cannot lie, and You have promised me the abundant life. I also know that the way I'm living isn't it! And I truly don't know if You mean this abundant life is in Heaven, by and by, the pie in the sky, after I die! But Jesus I'm determined to find out. Show me, Lord!"

So, I started the second leg of my journey with Jesus! He's so faithful! He led me, guided me, and walked me through my inner healing - just me and Jesus! He delivered me from the rage, perfectionism, and people pleasing. He healed all the wounds from my childhood where satan had used pain and trauma to kill, steal, and destroy. I no longer have to perform to feel valuable. I am valuable just because HE LOVES ME, and friends, let me tell you He is more than enough! He took me from the bondage of religion to the freedom of relationship! He truly made a way for me -for us- to have abundant life here and now! I get to live in His Kingdom of righteousness, peace, and joy (Romans 14:17) every second of every day that I choose HIM!

HIS GIFT of ABUNDANT LIFE is FREE, just BECAUSE HE LIVES! BLESSED EASTER!

P.S. If you have any questions about how you too can have this Abundant Life, if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, I just want to encourage you that you too can find His more excellent way! Please, contact me at bonniejwalker2@gmail.com . I would be more than happy to talk and pray with you, and help you along your journey towards sweet Jesus' gift of abundant living.

Love and prayers,

Bonnie

#BecauseHeLives #MyPersonalTestimony #InnerHealing